The other night, as the girls were still recovering from their crazy colds, we rented Where the Wild Things Are to watch together. Sean and I were a little unsure about how scary it would be but thought that as with all family movies we view, the constant conversation and explanation we encourage would compensate for any tense parts. and we had heard good things about it. So we settled in to enjoy the show.
Brookie and Rosie both engaged early on with Max and his sad little life. They are so thoughtful and observant. When Max travels to where the wild things are, Brookie made a wonderful connection between one of the girl “wild things” and Max’s older sister, explaining that the creature is what Max wishes his sister was like. Sean and I hadn’t even made that connection. And both girls gave lots of commentary as the story went along.
They were never really scared but were emotionally invested. They laughed out loud at some parts, quietly listened in other parts and got quite sad when Max was leaving for home, afraid that his good “wild thing” friend, Carol, wouldn’t make it back to say good-bye. It was even more sad when Carol doesn’t make it back in time to really say good bye but only to howl from the shore while watching Max’s boat sail away. This part was especially difficult for Rosie and without knowing why, she began to really cry - not just a subtle tear drop or two but the full deal, complete with sobs. She cried from that point on until the movie ended, with a further crescendo to the crying at around the time Max’s mother gives him a big hug when he returns home.
She continued to cry right through the credits, with Sean and Brookie and I trying to offer her comfort in the form of understanding. We were all a little teary-eyed. But Rosie got quite defensive, claiming that she wasn’t crying because the movie made her cry. She explained through sobs that she was having this emotional meltdown because the movie was so boring. And I quote, “I am crying because I didn’t find this movie interesting. It was boring. That is why I am crying!”
After many failed attempts on my part to explain (without laughing) that the kind of emotional energy she was expending was not on par with feelings of boredom or lack of interest (the last attempt I made at such an explanation ended with a tiny smile breaking on my face, Rosie taking GREAT offense at said smile and marching down to the last stair in our basement, sitting there with her head in her hands, continuing to cry), Sean managed to break through to Rosie. He got her to stop crying for a time and they were able to process these surprising emotions that had apparently “snuck up to her”, unannounced and unwelcomed.
As part of Sean’s strategy, he shared a story about a time when he found himself crying over a movie and being surprised himself. As he retold the plot of this sad movie, Rosie interrupted and said, “Daddy, please stop telling me this. It is making me want to cry.”
Needless to say, Rosie slept really well that night. We all did. And I couldn’t help smile to myself as I thought of that little girl, sobbing with such genuine grief at the losing and the finding of friendship and love. Such empathy. It is a beautiful thing.
~Mandy
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